we used to do all these cool projects when i was growing up. mom said it started when i was still an infant; she would put me in the truck with dad as he snow-plowed overnight for work, he'd steer the large vehicle with his left hand and feed me my bottle with his right. actually, the very first memory i have in life is mulching the back yard with him. i remember i was wearing these real itchy, blue wool tights under a dress and it was just about to get dark... i begged mom to let me stay and help daddy just a little longer and to my amazement, she agreed. i was so proud to be the one helping him with such an important task!
growing up with two sisters didn't change things. i was usually the one trailing behind dad, laughing at his goofy humor, begging him to let me help in the garage, or to play soccer out front. teenage girl years admittedly slowed some of the bonding- as it turned out i was not his middle son disguised as a girl- but we managed just the same. i remember when mom forced me to tell him about my first kiss. i was so nervous... how should a dad react to his little girl's first kiss with a boy? but he just got this huge grin on his face, raised one hand in the air and surprised us all when he yelled "score!"
elizabeth andrews, in her list of writing exercises states, "Most memoir explores the basic question, "Who am I?"...." instead, she challenges young writers to consider the question, "whose am i?"
i am a daddy's girl. and yet, somewhere along the way i've become an independent woman. a woman struggling to forge her own path and experience life and love and faith on her own terms. i've grown accustomed in these few short years living on my own, to make my own decisions- hell, i decided to travel half way across the globe without consulting anyone.
but what happens when those two identities clash? when my stubborn independence butts heads with my sense of duty, obligation and respect for those who raised me? how do i confidently make my own choices and live the life i've grown into knowing full well it will break their heart and possibly ruin the bond years have been spent making. at what point do i choose independent woman over daddy's girl... and why can't i have both?
